R.C. Anderson
Damn, it's cold!
July 18th 2007 01:11
Bloody cold!
Sorry … am I allowed to say the word bloody or is it considered to be a mature content word? Bugger … I don’t care. I’m too bloody COLD!
Yes, winter has hit with a vengeance, seeping into my poor old(?) bones and making my heating bill burst straight through the roof to hover somewhere around the level of the stratosphere.
What really bugs me is my children (sorry bugs … don’t take it personally). They wander around in t-shirts and singlets, announcing (very persuasively) that they are not cold.
“No mum, I don’t need to put a jumper on. I’m not cold, even though the temperature is close to freezing and I may as well live in the bottom of the fridge, in that corner where things can freeze if you’re not careful, because the temperature out of the fridge is colder than the temperature in that bottom corner.”
Well, all right, they don’t say exactly those words, but you get the idea.
Poor Mac doesn’t know what’s hit her with this cold snap we’ve had. She snuggles up in bed at night, feeding every couple of hours because the cold has woken her up and a quick suck is the only thing that’ll take her mind off it.
Get your mind out of the gutter … I said Suck!
Unfortunately, I also have to be awake every time the urge for a sucky takes her and as a consequence, as well as bearing a remarkable resemblance to a packet of frozen peas (in temperature if nothing else), I’m also particularly zombie like due to a lack of decent sleep …
… oh, come on … a bit of sympathy wouldn’t go astray you know.
The upshot of all this wonderful(?) cold weather is the outbreak of an attack of colds and flu around town, including my household. So, not only am I a shivering zombie, sucked to within an inch of my life by a cute but very insistent parasite, I also have an annoying runny nose and sore throat which does not want to go away.
Damn you people … get those violins out … show me you care.
So, what do we do in the diet and health household when the dreaded lurgy hits?
No, we don’t pop down the street and buy one of those pre-prepared concoctions from the pharmacy. You know the ones? They spout about how wonderful they are at ridding you of colds and flu but, in reality, they don’t seem to make a bit of difference.
Instead, I make home-made concoctions, at least one of which works wonders on the common cold … probably mostly because it tastes so disgusting that no-one wants to prolong the agony of taking it so their cold miraculously disappears really quickly.
The first concoction is the traditional and tasty honey and lemon drink. I crush a paracetamol tablet into a cup, add the juice of one freshly squeezed lemon and a good dollop of honey, then dilute with around half a cup of boiling water. It’s pretty potent but works exceptionally well for the whole family.
For younger children, just use half a paracetamol tablet instead of a whole one or mix in the recommended amount of the liquid form designed especially for children. They also don’t need it quite so strong so half a lemon would probably be enough.
For men, use at least two paracetamol tablets and three lemons … don’t forget, they don’t get colds, men only get the flu. They need sympathy, and copious amounts of it, and whenever they’re sick, they are at least a hundred times sicker than anyone else in the house.
“Why do these things always hit me hardest?” he sniffs, pulling the bed covers up under his chin and pretending to try to be strong and manly.
“Because you’re a man,” I answer under my breath and dose him a hefty spoonful of the following medicine.
My other concoction is generally not as popular in our household as the traditional honey and lemon drink. This involves crushing a number of cloves of garlic into a small jar of honey. There needs to be enough garlic in the honey so that it can be tasted very strongly when the concoction is taken. I’d probably use around three large cloves in about half a cup of honey.
Over time, the oils from the garlic will permeate into the honey making this medicine even more useful at sneezy, sniffly times of the year.
It tastes bloody awful and you’ll stink of garlic for hours afterwards, but it works.
Trust me … it works.
So, when the sniffles hit your house … what do you do? Do you grin and bear it, feeling sorry for yourself and wondering why no-one else gives you any sympathy? Or do you have an amazing concoction that you make which works wonders against the common cold?
Sorry … am I allowed to say the word bloody or is it considered to be a mature content word? Bugger … I don’t care. I’m too bloody COLD!
A really cold tree
Yes, winter has hit with a vengeance, seeping into my poor old(?) bones and making my heating bill burst straight through the roof to hover somewhere around the level of the stratosphere.
What really bugs me is my children (sorry bugs … don’t take it personally). They wander around in t-shirts and singlets, announcing (very persuasively) that they are not cold.
“No mum, I don’t need to put a jumper on. I’m not cold, even though the temperature is close to freezing and I may as well live in the bottom of the fridge, in that corner where things can freeze if you’re not careful, because the temperature out of the fridge is colder than the temperature in that bottom corner.”
Well, all right, they don’t say exactly those words, but you get the idea.
Poor Mac doesn’t know what’s hit her with this cold snap we’ve had. She snuggles up in bed at night, feeding every couple of hours because the cold has woken her up and a quick suck is the only thing that’ll take her mind off it.
Get your mind out of the gutter … I said Suck!
Unfortunately, I also have to be awake every time the urge for a sucky takes her and as a consequence, as well as bearing a remarkable resemblance to a packet of frozen peas (in temperature if nothing else), I’m also particularly zombie like due to a lack of decent sleep …
… oh, come on … a bit of sympathy wouldn’t go astray you know.
Just in case you weren't cold enough ...
The upshot of all this wonderful(?) cold weather is the outbreak of an attack of colds and flu around town, including my household. So, not only am I a shivering zombie, sucked to within an inch of my life by a cute but very insistent parasite, I also have an annoying runny nose and sore throat which does not want to go away.
Damn you people … get those violins out … show me you care.
So, what do we do in the diet and health household when the dreaded lurgy hits?
No, we don’t pop down the street and buy one of those pre-prepared concoctions from the pharmacy. You know the ones? They spout about how wonderful they are at ridding you of colds and flu but, in reality, they don’t seem to make a bit of difference.
Instead, I make home-made concoctions, at least one of which works wonders on the common cold … probably mostly because it tastes so disgusting that no-one wants to prolong the agony of taking it so their cold miraculously disappears really quickly.
The first concoction is the traditional and tasty honey and lemon drink. I crush a paracetamol tablet into a cup, add the juice of one freshly squeezed lemon and a good dollop of honey, then dilute with around half a cup of boiling water. It’s pretty potent but works exceptionally well for the whole family.
Ooooo, pick me, pick me!!!
For younger children, just use half a paracetamol tablet instead of a whole one or mix in the recommended amount of the liquid form designed especially for children. They also don’t need it quite so strong so half a lemon would probably be enough.
For men, use at least two paracetamol tablets and three lemons … don’t forget, they don’t get colds, men only get the flu. They need sympathy, and copious amounts of it, and whenever they’re sick, they are at least a hundred times sicker than anyone else in the house.
“Why do these things always hit me hardest?” he sniffs, pulling the bed covers up under his chin and pretending to try to be strong and manly.
“Because you’re a man,” I answer under my breath and dose him a hefty spoonful of the following medicine.
My other concoction is generally not as popular in our household as the traditional honey and lemon drink. This involves crushing a number of cloves of garlic into a small jar of honey. There needs to be enough garlic in the honey so that it can be tasted very strongly when the concoction is taken. I’d probably use around three large cloves in about half a cup of honey.
Over time, the oils from the garlic will permeate into the honey making this medicine even more useful at sneezy, sniffly times of the year.
It tastes bloody awful and you’ll stink of garlic for hours afterwards, but it works.
Trust me … it works.
So, when the sniffles hit your house … what do you do? Do you grin and bear it, feeling sorry for yourself and wondering why no-one else gives you any sympathy? Or do you have an amazing concoction that you make which works wonders against the common cold?
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Comment by David
Firstly, I wish global warming would happen in winter.
hahaha@ this:
Get your mind out of the gutter … I said Suck!
I do have memories of childhood when it was bitterly cold and would would rain for weeks and end, and only wanting to go outside barefoot, and play in the local council ditch (which was a rushing torrent back in the 60s), so kids not feeling the cold as much as adults makes sense.
I'm not sure you want to know how I keep colds at bay. Drinking and smoking even when you've got the flu doesn't seem to appeal to many other people. Funny thing is, I hardly ever get a cold or the flu. I think medicos refer to is as pickling and preserving the body.
David ...
PS: Love your picture captions.
Comment by Candice
I got lots of laughs over the way you put dealing with this awful cold. At least the sun has shown its face today! I bet your move to Queensland is looking extremely attractive right now.
Kids really don't seem to feel the cold like we do, do they? I really envy that, hating the cold as I do. I remember splashing in the waves in sub zero temperatures when I was a kid, and my niece and daughter are no different. Try telling them it's too cold for swimming??
We do the honey and lemon trick too. I don't know if I'm brave enough to do the garlic one, but we do add extra to our cooking when colds are about. I heard thyme tea (fusing the herbs in boiling water) is great for a sore throat because it's a natural antiseptic. I have to try it on my hubby who is really struggling with his sorre throat today - yikes, men just don't have any pain tolerance whatsoever! Hubby even admits to that one himself.
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
I actually do one with limes, but without paracetamol - so your version is a good one for the *real flu*! Not sure about the garlic version though!
Comment by Andrea
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Would you believe I had you in mind when I wrote that line?
Funny you should mention the drink ... I've got a nice hot cup of coffee, strongly laced with Father O'Leary's (a drink a bit like Bailey's). Damn, that tastes good and I don't care what anyone else says ... it definitely works.
Thanks for dropping in.
A. xx
Comment by Andrea
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Oh yes ... Queensland is looking very good right now, especially since we've had to put the move off for another couple of weeks.
I do envy the bugs. I'd love to be able to wander around in less clothes right now ... breast feeding is very difficult when I have to fight with four layers of clothing just to get Mac fed.
I had heard about thyme, now you come to mention it. I'd never tried it though. Must give it a go.
Catch you soon
A. xx
Comment by Andrea
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Limes? I love limes. That's another one to add to my list.
Garlic is great; works really well and has the added bonus of keeping away the vampires too (just in case).
A.
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
...and that's just one quote that has left me in hysterical fits of giggles and snorts!!
Where do I start??...this is such a funny funny funny post!!
Um...very educational too of course....
...and oh God...what is it with children???...
...my young'uns too think it's okay to go out with just a t-shirt on in the middle of winter if the sun is shining... and I'm talking about being at the snow.
My little feral native youngest would go around in thongs and shorts in winter if he had his way...
...it's weird.
And what is it with adults? Why do we feel cold just by looking at them...
"darling please put a jumper on, you're making me feel cold..."
Well...luckily enough, the family is fairly immune but when the sniffles hit our household...we do get hit hard...most of us go into denial...until we can't move and then we might just have "a little cold..."
Yes we too do the honey lemon thing.
I drink green tea (the only time I do...although I have a huge collection of green teas because my intentions are good but caffeine is my drug of choice) and apple cider vinegar...a tablespoon in warm water...very good for the metabolism and has an amazing amount of nutrients, etc.
Or so I've heard. it's an Indian thing. Maybe it's like you say;
Also an Indian thing...chilli. Lots of it. Oh and Berocca.
DDH and the children will drink green tea (although DDH calls it...a very un PC term...and drinks it under sufferance) but draw the line at the vinegar. And chilli on toast.
I take it that garlic concotion works well in Transylvannia...and I suppose sex is out of the question anyway....
Big hugs hon...
Dusk
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
The urge for a sucky?????
...oh man...
Oh whoops. That makes it worse....
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
My whole family too has suffered the flu these school holidays. And I know this sounds mean but these school holidays weren't as stressful. Everyone just slowed down and was happy to stay home and lounge around. Who knew being sick could be so relaxing.
I don't envy you getting up for those middle of the night feeds...it's too damn cold.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Such a funny post. Loved this bit:
My husband knows that he only gets a quota of sympathy from me. It's up to him whether he uses it all in one go or in sections, but once it's used up that's it. No more....he has to go elsewhere...
Tracy
Comment by Andrea
V8 Supercar Pitstop
I don't think I'll ever understand the urge to be cold.
I'm usually pretty good when it comes to catching a cold. I'll generally get it if it's doing the rounds but all I get is a sore throat and the sniffles. Probably a good job it isn't worse than that ... I can't really afford to get sick, especially with three young children. The idea of doing all my usual 'mummy duties' with a bad cold just makes me shudder with horror.
Oh yes, give me caffeine any day. I really don't like green tea. Maybe if it was mixed with the honey and lemon instead of plain water ...?
Apple cider vinegar is a wonderful thing, full of lots of goodies. And I might just have to cook a nice hot chilli meal tonight!
Take care
Cara xxxx
Comment by Andrea
V8 Supercar Pitstop
I know ... I couldn't resist!
Comment by Andrea
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Not mean, just truthful. School holidays can be painful in the middle of winter, especially when it's cold and rainy outside.
Night time feeds? Just between you and me, she always ends up snuggled up in our bed. Mac stays nice and warm and I don't have to get out of bed to feed her. It's a win-win situation!
A. xx
Comment by Andrea
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Thanks Tracy
A.
Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
PLEASE.... PLEASE... PLEASE... send some of that cold weather up here! I walk on the beach in the early evening and have only had to use a jersey once... and I walk in the breaking waves... with no shoes on. This is no boast this is tears of frustration at the total lack of winter that we have here... come on people!
We also use the lemon and honey concoction... but also with ginger in it and a good shot of brandy for the adults...
I`ll be looking in the mail box for that cold weather tomorrow....
warm Queensland hugs to ya`ll
ash
Comment by Andrea
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Ah ... a tropical girl. I used to live in Katherine in the NT where there was a wet season, a dry season, the build up (terribly hot and humid) and nothing in between.
When I left I was so looking forward to having seasons again.
Ash, what wonderful things you do with words.
Watch out for that big envelope in the shape of a snowman!
A xx