Becoming one with me
March 23rd 2007 03:22
Last night I couldn’t sleep.
I lay in bed, tossing and turning, trying not to wake my husband who was sleeping peacefully beside me. I dozed briefly then awoke, feeling as if I hadn’t slept at all.
This continued for a couple of hours, frustrating and distracting me.
I listened for the sounds of the night beyond the window, hoping that those strangely intimate yet faraway noises would relax and settle both me and the baby …
… but even the bugs were silent, the owls and bats asleep, their bellies replete with the unlucky few who no longer lived to enjoy the sounds of silence.
My frustration grew and I turned once more onto my back, breathing deeply, in a vain attempt to drop contently into a deep and dream-filled sleep.
I felt the baby move silently within me; her gentle pokes and prods gaining momentum as she took this opportunity to exercise her muscles. I smiled and placed my hand softly on my body, listening to my child move through the palm of my hand.
And we became as one.
My uterus tightened in one of its regular contractions. Not imminent-birth contractions but one of those that occurs periodically throughout the pregnancy; often unnoticed but ensuring a healthy flow of blood through the womb.
In the deep, dark secret of the night, the contraction was vivid in its intensity, making me hold my breath, slightly nauseated, while it completed its essential job.
Soon the tightening eased and I slowly let out the breath I’d been holding on to, realising that the baby had also stilled her movements, as if appreciating the amazing process she was involved in, the process she was an integral part of …
… the process that would eventually result in her birth.
It’s getting close, I thought, not much longer to wait now.
And with that thought echoing silently through my mind, I dropped into a peaceful and soothing sleep.
I lay in bed, tossing and turning, trying not to wake my husband who was sleeping peacefully beside me. I dozed briefly then awoke, feeling as if I hadn’t slept at all.
This continued for a couple of hours, frustrating and distracting me.
I listened for the sounds of the night beyond the window, hoping that those strangely intimate yet faraway noises would relax and settle both me and the baby …
… but even the bugs were silent, the owls and bats asleep, their bellies replete with the unlucky few who no longer lived to enjoy the sounds of silence.
My frustration grew and I turned once more onto my back, breathing deeply, in a vain attempt to drop contently into a deep and dream-filled sleep.
I felt the baby move silently within me; her gentle pokes and prods gaining momentum as she took this opportunity to exercise her muscles. I smiled and placed my hand softly on my body, listening to my child move through the palm of my hand.
And we became as one.
My uterus tightened in one of its regular contractions. Not imminent-birth contractions but one of those that occurs periodically throughout the pregnancy; often unnoticed but ensuring a healthy flow of blood through the womb.
In the deep, dark secret of the night, the contraction was vivid in its intensity, making me hold my breath, slightly nauseated, while it completed its essential job.
Soon the tightening eased and I slowly let out the breath I’d been holding on to, realising that the baby had also stilled her movements, as if appreciating the amazing process she was involved in, the process she was an integral part of …
… the process that would eventually result in her birth.
It’s getting close, I thought, not much longer to wait now.
And with that thought echoing silently through my mind, I dropped into a peaceful and soothing sleep.
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Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
Comment by Andrea
Diet and Health
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Things are really going well ...
xxxx
Comment by Nina
TV Babble
Comment by David
I really enjoyed this post ... for more than one reason ...
Mainly because it was just educational about motherhood ... and not tinged with any of that ... I'm going to have to educate men stuff ... (I just love the way you wrote it ...
I've often been tempted to ask mothers about the whole pregnancy thing ... but their husband's tend to object to another man asking questions of that nature, so I've left it alone ... but your post actually answered a lot of the questions I would have asked ...
I mean, the main one I would have asked was ... What's it actually like to be pregnant? ... (I'm never going to know from a practical angle ...
[well, i hope I'm not ... unless there's some medical breakthrough, and I get kidnapped by a gang of gay scientists who want to use me as a guinea pig ...
David ...
Comment by Andrea
Diet and Health
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Thankyou.
A.
Comment by Andrea
Diet and Health
V8 Supercar Pitstop
One of the most difficult things to do is to explain to another person, someone who has never experienced pregnancy, what 'being pregnant' is really like.
I truly appreciate your comments because it means that I have managed to get across just a little of what I was trying to communicate ... the feelings and emotions that go hand in hand with pregnancy.
As to asking a pregnant woman about 'being pregnant' ... don't be concerned about doing it. Most pregnant women are more than happy to talk endlessly on the subject! Than again, if she's a complete stranger you may get a few funny looks ...
All I can really say (without going into a whole thesis of description) is that pregnancy is one of the most amazing experiences a woman can ever have.
A.
PS Good luck with the gay scientists ...!
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
You're having a girl? Or do you just not like to call your baby 'it'?
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Andrea
Diet and Health
V8 Supercar Pitstop
I guess I'm putting a lot of trust in the skill of the bloke who did my 20 week ultrasound!
"Definitely a girl," he stated confidently ... so I'll continue to flow with that. I will admit, though, the few bits and pieces of clothes that I've bought so far have been particularly asexual. No pink, no embroidered cars and definitely no flowers.
And, to be entirely honest, I also don't like calling her 'it' ...!
Thanks for stopping by.
A. xx
Comment by Wendi
When I had my first son, I was extremely young. I was eight months pregnant on my sweet sixteen. We grew up together, he and I. The moment he was born, I knew I had to do it again... and again. I absolutely loved being pregnant - everything about it, except for the morning sickness and uncooperative hair. Everything else was heaven.
The Universe stepped in, knowing I had other work to do with my life aside from just having children, and I had to have a hysterectomy when I was 25. Thank the Universe I had my babies when I did, or I'd have missed the opportunity all together. Usually, I'm okay with it... my kids have enriched my life in ways I cannot measure, so I don't feel cheated. But some days, I crave the feeling of being one with a life inside.
You've taken me back in time to some of the greatest moments I've ever lived. Thank you... and congratulations!
W
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
You and Cara know why this is so.
Wendivine.....truly you are....no words....
Cara...I read this again. It is truly beautiful.
Little Blogette will read this one day....
Comment by Wendi
You glow - absolutely radiant. Feel free to quote me on that.
Much Respect,
W
Comment by Andrea
Diet and Health
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Thankyou, thankyou for sharing your experience.
I am so pleased that you were given the opportunity to have a family before the ability was taken away from you. Our children are definitely the most precious and wonderful things we could ever be given.
As usual, Dusk has hit the nail on the head ...
(Dusk, it's my turn to quote you now)
Your words mean so much to me ...
A. xx
Comment by Andrea
Diet and Health
V8 Supercar Pitstop
As a writer you are one of the best. As a person you are one of the most beautiful I have ever 'met' ...
... so, as a mother I can't imagine you would be any different.
I know what you are saying.
... yes.
Cara xxxx
Comment by Fingertip Titans Unite
Idiots Among Us
Fingertip Titans
You are so blessed.
Comment by Andrea
Diet and Health
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Welcome and thanks for visiting.
In all honesty, this pregnancy has probably been a little more difficult than my others (I already have two children) and I have no plans to do it again.
However, it's times like this, when that connection is made between myself and the little person growing inside me, that I remember why I'm going through it all in the first place.
It's a beautiful thing.
Thank you.
A.
Comment by Portsmouth
This post was absolutely beautiful. It made me want to cry. I must read it all again.
Lots of love from Pompey XXXXXXX
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
This was beautiful, dignified and charming. I really enjoyed reading it. Thank you, and L'chaim.
Comment by Lilla
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
I really enjoyed this post... it took me back too. I have the sweetest memories during these years, and some of my worst, too.
I wouldn't do it again (in this life), but my life is so much richer for having been there myself, that I'm glad I never forsake the experience and joy it has bought me.
Good luck on your special day,
...wishing you an easy one ...
Lilla ...
Comment by Andrea
Diet and Health
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Don't cry ... all is wonderful!!! And there really is not long to go now.
I'm so pleased you enjoyed it.
Love A. xxxx
Comment by Andrea
Diet and Health
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Thank you for dropping by and thank you for your positive comments. Your beautiful words are very much appreciated.
A.
Comment by Andrea
Diet and Health
V8 Supercar Pitstop
It's lovely to see you over here.
The whole pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood experience is full of ups and downs, isn't it. The best of the best and the worse of the worse at times.
Pregnancy is definitely an experience I also feel privileged to have experienced and I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
Easy? ... Easy sounds mighty fine to me!
Thanks again.
A.
Comment by Candice
I actually dropped by your site wondering if little blogette had arrived in the world yet.
It was beautiful to read your feelings about pregnancy. It truly is a wonderful experience and you put it so touchingly.
Comment by Andrea
Diet and Health
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Thank you for your lovely words. You're right, pregnancy is a wonderful experience and it's nice to be able to share it.
Little B (aka Little No-name) is due to put in an appearance on 22 May so I still have eight weeks to go. I can see that this is going to be the longest eight weeks of my life! Be assured that as soon as she shows her face I will be doing the typical proud mother thing and posting a photo for all to see.
I've got to show her off, after all!!!
A.
Comment by Candice
Yes, you better do the proud mother thing. Blogette wouldn't be a blogette without having her face on your blog!
Comment by Andrea
Diet and Health
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Hmmmmm....... I wonder how many photos I can fit on one blog post?????